The Sexy Dunny

Due Time

2009-07-13T16:47:00.001+02:00

It has been awhile, old friend... Time has aged you, like a crimson-painted whore.

Grand Theft Auto 4 is a waste of my time and yours

2008-07-15T10:56:00.002+02:00

98%. This is the overall score for Grand Theft Auto 4. As a reviewer, It is their job to play the entire game and then come up with their own conclusions. It's GTA4 though. Who in their right mind is going to give it a score below 90%? I would.

Gameplay:

Rockstar has fucked up. plain and simple. What used to be an interactive amusement park, filled with endless mayhem and inventive time-wasting crap is now a wasteland. Imagine working on a fully interactive world for years on end and then forgetting to put an actual game inside? This is the world of GTA 4. Outside of the main missions [read as repetitive bullshit] there is the friendship system which is boring beyond words.Your in-game friends will phone you to ask you out on dates or activites. Bowling, Darts, drinking, and pool. All fucking, FUCKING boring after the first time. Especially with the AI. Thank god they included a skip opponents turn option. the only upside to these friends missions is the ability to unlock beneifts such as low priced weapons and free cabs. However, money is both plentiful and irrelivent, so fuck that then? Next up, controls. Copying from gears of war, GTA 4 has a cover system which works only until you need it. And not from close up either. Aiming can be toggled between full auto and manual, but just keep it on manual and you will easily level the playing field. Niko runs around nicely but jumps like a faggot on crack. There is a cellphone, which acts as the glue holding together the gameplay and missions. This also sucks cock, as friends and enemies will call at the worst times and especially during a mission. What else... oh the cars. Fucking grizzeled cunt missle is a nice adjective to use. They ride like iceblocks on butter. Very hard to manuever. Overall, gameplay is unrefined and stale. A 4/10 as you can still fuck hookers and then steal your money from their dead corpses.

Graphics:

Average. The city looks fine and everyone has a vasline shine to them for some reason but other then that, it looks pretty. This is where R* really excells. There are 1000's of little touches in this game. Niko himself is a bonanza of animation and running into pedestrians is always a good laff. The City looks like a mini-New York so good job. all though next time, how about a new city from your imagination? A 7/10 is resonable.

Sound:

Great stuff. The voice acting is pleasent and there are countless pedestrian vocal snippets. The radio stations become boring after a while though, as does the TV. also 7/10.

Story:

Utter fucking shit. Starts out so well and then degenerates into a mess. Niko is supposed to be this confused ex-soldier who needs to redeem himself in his own eyes, but at the end of the game *SPOILER* nothing has changed. There is a "big" revelation which is a binary choice adding nothing to the game or the final outcome. People come and go, adding nothing to the story. I expected so much :( Oh and Kate is a tight bitch who never lets you dip one in her sweat box. Just ignore her. *END SPOILERS* 1/10 for their effort.

Multiplayer:

I dont have Xbox live :( But GTA 4 is only number 3 on the LIVE charts so it cant be that great. Halo 3 is more then likely better. The stories I heard about the multiplayer do not sound promising.

Overall:

The Story and the gameplay sucks, like most next-gen titles. What a suprise. Next time R*, something new and innovative hey?

Lips

2008-07-14T11:49:00.002+02:00

Here is a pic of the shit hole Xbox exclusive add-ons for the 360. Like it needs to target the casual market. Fuck that Xbox! Stick to your motherfucking guns! More Gears and more Halo and moan fuck shit piss.

Dinner

2008-07-02T13:04:00.001+02:00

Dinner at the Gourmet Burger on Long st was amazing. We all had Peroni's and a tasty burger. Mine was Blue Cheese/Well Done same as my dad. Judi's was chicken and berry sauce, yet it looked tasty as well. I wish I had a new and interesting game for the Xbox.

Sad and Mad

2008-07-02T13:01:00.001+02:00

My lady is sad and mad. Sad as her mum is stressed and mad because her family are insufferable morons, much like a great deal of mine. I can only hope that a concentration of my love for her will set her right. And rotating cowboy style sexy time.

Home

2008-07-01T16:24:00.001+02:00

I'm hungry as hell and me dad is taking Judi and I for dinner at some pub. Looking forward to it and Judi looks more forwarder to it then i do. Cute man.

Scribe

2008-07-01T15:01:00.001+02:00

Just a test with Scribefire addon.

Easy

2008-07-01T13:57:00.003+02:00

Its easy to leave your job. Give them a minutes notice and then don't show up for work the next day. My work at the Q was meaningless. Slaving long hours away from my Judi just to fulfill the needs of the rich and useless. My patience reached its zenith one week ago and now I am working as a chief copywriter for a fantastic media company. There are no words to describe how much better I feel about myself. The pay remains the same but the work keeps my brain intact and demands only effort, not physical fortitude. Writing is what I was born to do and I exact a career out of its wet, meaty shell.

I hope that Q is suffering now, but their staff turnover is high and I doubt my absence has knocked them out of their insufferable tempo. Mark my words, I will never participate in a customer service related position ever again. I have had my fill of sucking cock for a living. I will be leaving at 5pm today and man, what a treat that is. The weather is warm now and the sun shines happily outside my office window as I compose this entry. Judi is in parliament now, unfortunately for her she still needs to grovel a bit to the Man but she makes more then I do so all is forgiven :)

GTA 4 was an abominable piece of shit. Too short, too easy and too little to do inside its "sandbox" world. It was as if they had the technology but they forgot to add the fun. I do not have Xbox live anymore so I cant test the multiplayer option, yet I know that running around aimlessly inside the ghost town of Liberty city can't be all the appeassing. Lets pray Unreal Torunament 3 provides me with the happiness I so crave. Until Gears of war 2 that is.

PS3 and the shit it is.

2008-05-20T17:55:00.004+02:00

Haze was touted as being "teh number 1 HardC0re shooter for the Ps3" and now it has been justly awarded a 4.5/10 from IGN , a well trusted video-gaming website. I could see myself how awful and generic it looked from the screen shots and the video's of game play I watched over its development. This is just another nail in the entertainment coffin for Sony [added bonus: it is coffin shaped]. Not that it needs another. Why have so many of this shit-burgers been sold? Is it purely for the Blu-ray functionality that the 360 sorely lacks or is it for the fan boys and girls out there who still desperately want to believe in a Sony product after being faithful supporters for years upon years? I say neither. Sony just wants your money. They don't give a flying fuck about oh say THE GAMES! The 360 has now triple the software the PS3 and counting. Don't give me that glib excuse either about, "Oh but it quality over quantity". WRONG AGAIN! Not counting Ratchet and Clank and Resistance: Fall of Man [two big name titles from the same developer's] the PS3 only has 360 Ports to keep it company such as Oblivion and GTA4. Fuck you, you massive wally of a poser Sony. Your machine is shit.

The 360 launched into its first year of life with stunner's such as Gears of War, Oblivion, Dead Rising and others. Lets not forget BioShock and Mass Effect. The online play is legend and the Graphics, sound and gameplay are simply unmatched. The PS3 will one day become a threat to Microsoft and its white machine of love, but in the meantime Sony can fuck off and die.

Depro

2008-05-08T15:02:00.002+02:00

I only post when I am sad. I don't know what to say to this conundrum here. I can either work till 10pm every night at the Q, or quit or Relocate to another Q in another country. Some tough choices. As long as Judi is with me I will be fine.

Flat

2008-04-23T11:41:00.000+02:00

Btw, our apartment is coming on well.

Fail

2008-04-23T11:38:00.001+02:00

Again, my girlfriend failed her drivers again. By leaving her car during her drivers, she failed. Nevermind. She has a cancellation for tomorrow so all should be well by then.

The Sweet

2008-04-17T11:26:00.004+02:00

I'm moving in with Judi tomorrow (Here she is again):

To an amazing block of flats named the Four Seasons. My gawd it will be fantastic. Private parking. A gym and a swimming pool. Free hookers. Well, not the free hookers but the world isn't perfect. Forget about the hookers. All my boxes are packed. Now I must infer with my roomate and get my mother loving deposit back.

Music I Need

2008-04-10T12:12:00.001+02:00

Muse - I'll just download the whole collection.

I'll update every time I find more.

Anger

2008-04-09T11:38:00.002+02:00

I always identified with the Hulk. Constant rage, bottled up in case the beast is released. Everyday I bury it deeper and deeper, each irritation is another piece of sand in the bottle of pain and... other crap. Asthma pump. Much better. Judi is far away and I will only see her on Friday again. It could have been worse, she could have been gone forever. At least Friday, my angel will return. In the meanwhile, I must store the madness and never release it, least I hurt someone.

Good Intentions

2008-03-29T16:33:00.001+02:00

Pancho's: Tonight: 8pm. Time to drink. I'll fill you lot in later.

Divides

2008-03-28T11:18:00.002+02:00

Who is wrong in this scenario? Me for ousting my best friend of 4 years because he has a fucking awful hound of a girlfriend, or him for choosing a hippo over good times? I think its him of course. My friends (barring my cousin) all have the absolutely worst taste in women. Rael's gf is a fat, depressing hooker and Brents is a stupid Bimbo from the nether regions of hell. Why am I so lucky to have the most wonderful girlfriend in the world? Can't they choose correctly? I have to cut them off. Starting with Brent. I am moving out of my wonderful flat into a yet to be found apartment with my Judi. and good times will prevail. Vuka update: Gypsy (brilliant Vuka tech) stuck a pen into my spark plug to fix it and it is working better then before.

Lessons

2008-03-24T11:54:00.005+02:00

So todays lesson is: Don't spend R350 on a pickup truck to haul your broken Vuka home unless you really need him too. On Sunday, Easter fucking Sunday of all days, my Vuka stopped on the road. I was driving and then it was as if I couldn't give it power. It was only the spark plug that came loose, but I'm a non-mechanic and this was an extreme situation. I was supposed to go to Hayden my cousin for a braai, I was supposed to be home at 6:15pm awaiting a kiss from my sweet Judi. I was supposed to have a brand new Vuka. But I was shafted. It stalled as I approached the Baxter theatre. Very calmly, I sent a please call me to Judi and she phoned my roommate Brent (who is supposed to know about bikes) to assist me. The lesson I learned is that in this life, you can only depend on yourself. It was dark, there were all sorts of hippies and students walking around like the fucking undead and I was scared! I didn't want to leave my Vuka on the road! No way was that going to happen. Ross (Judi's roomate) very kindly picked me up and we attempted to put the Vuka in her back seat. That didnt work out. So we left it there, chained to a lamp post. Five hours later and after a hearty pizza meal, Me, Judi and some crane vulture extracted my Vuka from the road and dropped it off at her house. In the morning, I went to check it out and I noticed a tiny plug like device hanging off the bottom of the Vuka. All I did was plug it in and the fucker worked. End of story.

Sunday was better. Easter at Judi's family. It was mad. A whole family, full of Judi's. Which is great. They sure were a friendly bunch of folks. Loads of eggs, lots of booze and a sneaky joint (beforehand) ensured a good time. Now I'm at work. And its boring. Its a holiday today so I wont get any phone calls. At least my writing is finished for the day.

No time

2008-03-22T17:49:00.001+02:00

I don't have time to put a letterhead on. All is well. Eating, Braai, Cousin, Tonight. The wind howls like a grizzly specter. It will be an interesting drive.

Fixin'

2008-03-19T16:50:00.004+02:00

kay. ok. OKay. My Vuka is fixed. The spark plug connection system was faulty. It took all of 10 minutes to repair. Now my baby is a fucking speed machine. Lighting runs through its veins as it races down the highway. A super-charged grinding machine! I have a headache. 3 more hours of work.

Come Hungry

2008-03-18T13:42:00.006+02:00

his is how you make a Steve happy. You (Quintessentially) give Steve R4000 extra so that he can purchase his brand new Vuka XS125. Yesterday, at 2:15pm I gave birth to it through the miracle of Gumtree. Sleek, black and 3 months old, it runs like a bat out of hell. Well, it chugs a bit but this is due to me re-adjusting to automatic gear control. It ran smoother on my way to work. I need a new Xbox game. All that is left in Oblivion is sight-seeing. But still! My very own Vuka! I had a smashing weekend as well. Tyger (Tyger) with my Judi. The music was shit but she is hawt so I enjoyed it non the less. Combine that with a super chill Sunday and you have a perfect weekend. A picture of the happy couple follows (note the drunk chick at the back. Lol:

Vuka

2008-03-12T17:35:00.001+02:00

Fuck them. They did not finance my Scooter. Asswipes. Who needs them? Who needs anyone! I will have the money in 2 months times mark my motherfucking words.

Love

2008-03-07T09:09:00.001+02:00

Hey, I love my life. Xbox, new girlfriend and a new Vuka on the way. Great stuff! Plus work is a doodle and it pays me well. Hows that?

Burns

2008-03-07T08:48:00.005+02:00

The packet of two minute noodles I prepared for breakfast was rank. Or stank. The little foil packet of noodle spice was the best. Instead of the word of the flavour written on it (like beef or chicken or human) it just said "flavour". Thats when you know you are in for a treat. I can feel my stomach curdling already. To top it all, I burned my finger on the water as I drained it out.

What happened to all the Halo 3 hype? It was literally months and months of build up and now no-one mentions it anymore. The Xbox still continues to do poorly in Japan, so no amount of hype could save it from snub, Asian style. I don't play Halo 3 Multiplayer anymore either. I reached Captain or Corporal online and after that promotion, It become too much of a hassle for me to keep playing. Roll on GTA 4. Lets hope its a quiet day at the Quintessentially. I'm tired as hell.

Series 5

2008-03-06T13:30:00.004+02:00

.....So Very French. Usually French= shit but in this case, anything Dunny associated is aces with me. Available at the V&A Waterfront as we speak for the paltry sum of R105 per Dunny. Goddamn I will buy a few.

Heat

2008-03-05T14:31:00.004+02:00

Its unnecessarily hot today in Cape Town. Does it need to be this warm? 31 degrees and counting now. I finished Oblivion last week, ending 6 months of continuous on and off playing. My roommate (Brent) calls it a "queer game". Faeries, Elves, goblins and Castles. It has the allure of a pleasant homosexual adventure, yet its brutal dichotomy of right and wrong negates any "queer"allusions one might attach to it. Its an open ended game with no restrictions to the length of time needed to complete and I have the compulsive need to complete my games 100% or more. The first game I ever clocked fully would be Super Mario Bros. 3. I remember playing for a week without budging or twitching, with pride and determination forcing me onwards. Remember this game? I will never forget it. I have yet to play Mario's latest outing, Super Mario Galaxy and it is killing me. I need carefree Nintendo game play. I need simple, yet deep and gaming to swallow me whole and spit me out a better man. But Jesus h. titty-twisting Christ I will not purchase a Wii just to enjoy myself with that squat fuck Mario. And when the fuck did you ever see this guy fix a fucking toilet either?

Digress:

Judi came over last night. My job pays me a fair amount of money to work at night and my social life suffers because of this. We laffed and played for hours on end and now I am tired. We did not sleep until past 12 and my aged bones need their rest. Fuck, do I have to book a hotel now?

Gears of Peace

2007-09-02T08:13:00.000+02:00

My 360 collection has swollen overnight. Games I know own include: Bioshock, Gears of War, Oblivion, Lego Star Wars 2 (oh so cute) and Pacman CE (this could be my favourite game). Each one is a winner. OGN delivered them last night. Plus he is interested in a bankie of gervis finely ground. A stupid Yank last night wanted me to play through the entire gears of war campaign with him. I mean come on now??? Are achievements so highly coverted that one will waste and entire 6 hours online? Maybe... I'm just glad its working online without the MSN ban. Joy seems happier btw. I feel happier. Even if I do not have a chick myslef at the moment. Still, depro has gone and a shiny vuka is in its place. Yes lords and ladies I have me a mode of transportation. It rides fairly well and there are still some road nerves, but in the end I will be a pro. A pro I tell you.

amazing night

2007-08-26T09:57:00.001+02:00

Me and Joy are over. What was once a couple is now a friendship. Despite the obvious difficulties, things seem to be better now. No more needless fighting and one-upping. regardless, Last night I was with Judith and it was fantastic. We went from bang-bang to Cubana, making out all the way. That women just has a fire inside her that makes it difficult to not feel impassioned by her when she is around you. Its something else. Joy is my best friend on this planet. This is hurting her due to the obvious similarities between her and Judi. I mean, I enjoy the company of dark-skinned women. Of course I am going to date a coloured lady again! these feelings of jelousy and anger will hopefully be replaced by acceptance and love. As I love her very much and would hate to see her hurt like this. Poor Joy. So many hang-ups and phobias and mind-fuckeries. Mwah to you my angel. I pray you will be happier in the days to come.

2007-08-18T21:55:00.001+02:00

i hate my life.

fucked

2007-08-11T20:50:00.001+02:00

My phone is fucked. I attempted the software update and now it will not turn on. PLUS! My xbox red light of death'ed me! Shit! but I fixed it. plus.... the internet went down and I had to rectify its errors. Phew. Stress sorted. Finally. I came back from Cubana with a hot chick on my arm. Joy natch. We both downed a HUNTERS, fooled around and came back home. Now she plays Bejeweled 2 on the 360 and I'm blogging and preparing supper. But honestly, since the home DSL, I have not used my phone once. I will miss it as I send it in to Virgin for repairs, but I will not mourn it. Not at all.

high

2007-08-11T17:03:00.001+02:00

Crikey im high.

Busy

2007-08-09T16:42:00.001+02:00

Half way with my reviews. I only just started 5 mins ago.... :P

Lucky fucking me.

2007-08-09T13:16:00.001+02:00

I must just note that as I blog this from our shiny and super fast laptop, which is connected to our 384k DSL, which in turn powers the Xbox live in my modded for copies Xbox360, which has our 30gig ipop plugged in, which streams Cafe Del Mar from its Media centre interface, I think about what a lucky smug fucker I am. Hot girlfriend, super cool flat and all the things I need from life. Thumnbs up. Gotta get my hot, toasted whole-wheat bread sandwhiches.

Marmite

2007-08-08T08:21:00.001+02:00

This video is stupid humor. Is this what Marmite has come to? Fuck off then Marmite. Christ. Its a bit classier in South Africa at least.

wine

2007-08-08T07:22:00.001+02:00

too... Much... Wine...

Sleep

2007-08-07T22:15:00.001+02:00

Why am I so tired...? going to bed. Too much wine. When is Joy's period over I am so ajjjj.

Vlog

2007-08-07T19:47:00.001+02:00

My VBlog should be supreme. i CANT wait to show everyone.

More testing

2007-08-07T11:36:00.001+02:00

Ha what a larf. such a sweet test of note!

last night

2007-08-07T07:36:00.001+02:00

Damn I dont know what to say. Christians sure are a laff though. They seem to want to be all chummy with the bearded one. Good luck to them. I don't want to remember. I'm sorry Rabbi. >;) Cleanse me.

Cold day

2007-08-06T07:59:00.001+02:00

almost time for work. Juuuust checking my Gmail. Its all crap. Except for a job spec from Joy. Woah. Time to shower. 13deg today and storming. Fuck.

Today

2007-08-05T20:14:00.001+02:00

The day has rolled on with no intense vibes. Supper is almost ready and my love plays Xbox live games on the couch. Could life be any more friendly? I think not. Plus I have completed 10 reviews today so I feel as if I have really accomplished something! :-)

The longest eyelash ever.

2007-08-05T12:41:00.001+02:00

Behold. On the left is a normal eyelash and on the right is my long fucked up mutant eyelash. Be wary of such sudden mutations professor X would say.

complete

2007-08-05T10:16:00.001+02:00

10 reviews. Finished. Thank the shiny host of No'ggoth. time to withdraw into the plains of Cyroddil.

Yet another day

2007-08-05T09:38:00.001+02:00

The sun strikes me warmly on my stomach. I sit her in a semi-naked state, finishing my reviews for the weekend. Distraction is a nutty beast of note. It takes the merest pin-pricks of auditory or sensory stimuli to distract me from the task at hand. Fuck this. Back to work.

Only fear the cord itself.

2007-08-03T12:07:00.000+02:00

Another day rolls one. Or by. My clock indicates that it is 12:08pm. 52 minutes until I consume chips drenched in the sauce of cheese and chilli. Last night was very pleasant actually. Joytjie and V went watch Being Jane at Cavendish Square so I was left to my own devices. So in order of excitement, my evening was as follow: Got high, played Oblivion, hot high, Ate, played Oblivion, tried to watch the shit movie on Etv, played Oblivion, greeted Joyful, played Oblivion and went to bed. Hot or Not? I wish to speak about Oblivion though... In a later post today.

J for Joytjie :) and V for Verash

2007-08-01T14:01:00.000+02:00

I much prefer having female friends to male friends. Verashni, my latest chum is an inspiration to all. Despite the multiple spell of bad luck that have befallen her, she has managed to keep her chin up though the times and push on through to the good.

My dutiful girlfriend has also become a happier and more enlightened person now that I am smoking less of the Jamacian Herb. Men, do stupid and silly things to irrate the women they love. My only hope is that she will one day... learn to roll as well as I do and share a relaxing J with me. I love you so much Joy. Here is a kiss for you. Muuuuwah.

Amazement

2007-08-01T13:52:00.000+02:00

It is simply amazing how different my life was four months ago. I was a hopeless loser smoking gaanj all the time with little to no ambition. Now, I reside in Green point with my sexy, wonderful, super-cool wierd girlfriend Joy. I have an Xbox360, DSL and not one but TWO jobs. Do you like apples? Well hows them apples? Huh? HUH?

Steve out.

JOB!!!!!

2007-05-21T15:09:00.002+02:00

Fuck kids! I have a job! Content assistant for www.pricecheck.co.za! Oh yes check it out!

DVD Verdict: DVD Reviews, with Flair

2007-05-21T15:09:00.000+02:00

DVD Verdict: DVD Reviews, with Flair

Perhaps the greatest DVD review site in the world. Shit I have not blogged for a while.

Prison

2007-05-09T08:46:00.000+02:00

The final episode of the current season of Prison Break was a let down, to be sure. Some bullshit about some Mexican prison bullshit. If this is creative and exciting television then fuck me if i'm not going to watch anymore. If Hero's turns out this way, I will renounce TV altogether. I'm really enjoying this laptop. My current PC is on the blink and this is a way, way, way, way better one. Back hurts. No weed to fix my ills either. Shit.

Munny

2007-05-08T07:16:00.000+02:00

Advertising for my site is all around me. Please click on a link or two so I can become richer. 10 dollah richer by my account. My girlfriend Joy came back last night. She has been away in Joburg for a long time. I missed her so much.

Red Devils

2007-05-07T07:45:00.000+02:00

Now that I know its here (DSL), It venom bubbles to the surface on a regular basis. And I need DSL. If I can only get free DSL... That would be cool as shit. A long week of possible depression stretches out in front of me now. As I lie here on Rael's couch with a smooth one in my hand I wonder, why am I blogging such shit. Action time. I need a bath cause I feel rat-dirty. Cosy.... Yet Rat Durty (sic)

PA

2007-05-04T20:08:00.000+02:00

I'm passive aggressive. The doctor told me so. I would say more but i'm watching some porn. Later.

High and Mighty

2007-05-04T15:16:00.000+02:00

Feeling high as a kite here folks. My mother hovers around me looking for excuses to talk about her fat Israeli bastard boyfriend David. Or not really. I just don't like the fuck. Some people you just don't like. Ever. Like Hitler or that guy on the Vodacom commercials, the fucking bushcat. Whatever happended to Yebo Gogo? It was phased out almost overnight. Well good. The more cuck phased out the better.

My job interview yesterday could not have gone better if it had gone even better. We will wait and see if I get this illustrious position. Ill update later. Going to see a man about a job. Assessment. He is a job assessment psychiatrist.

Remember and I haven't said this enough, respect the Dunny. For it is love.

(lovely Dunny pictured above. this is a super rare 8 inch Tado luv Dunny. one of the rarest in the world. for more on these lovable beings, point your browser to www.kidrobot.com I must also point out that I'm not paid by Kidrobot to promote Dunny's I just fucking love them)

Cassie Voice

2007-05-03T13:14:00.001+02:00

When my friend, either Brett or Rael talks to their hound Cassie (not pictured) they talk to her like one would speak to a small child. That is the Cassie voice or the dog voice. With cats you have to go "pshhh pshhh" just so that they can cast their discourteous looks upon you. Dogs love you, end of story. Cats hate you from the start and then begin to love you, after you feed them. Once upon a time I had two little cats. Blommetjie (small flower in Afrikaans) and SpongeBob. Gone now. They were mucho problemo but I loved them so. Cute little noses and tiny little kitty paws. My girlfriend, during her bad luck patch managed to neglect them to the point they had to go to another home. Sure, I could have taken them to my home, but that would have run the risk of my mother drowning them in a burlap sack. Enough sadness.

Tamagotchis

2007-04-27T13:37:00.000+02:00

Did you ever notice how if you put two girlfdriends together they start to interact like Tamagotchies? All the bleebing and shit. Its crazy.

The Beard of Shame

2007-04-27T13:26:00.001+02:00

Here is Stage 1 of the beard. Is it lovely?

FULL SIZE BEAUTY AND SEXY TEETH BABY!
And the beard is mighty as a rock.

I play it Cold

2007-04-27T09:54:00.000+02:00

Morning. Some of you may have trouble enjoying my favourite 'obby. Which is having a sneaky "J". Here is a pictorial instruction blog for the less skilled tokers out there to enjoy.

Step 1: Maul it.

Step 2: Roll it.

Step 3: Smoke it.

Wasn't that easy? Happy toking. And happy something day. Its another holiday that the government pulled out of their asshole. Not that I'm complaining. I'm unemployed!

This

2007-04-26T20:02:00.001+02:00

Is how you waste time.

Sand in your vagina

2007-04-26T19:52:00.001+02:00

My girlfriend made an unannounced visit. And Lo and behold my mother was acting normal as well. The day has been boring. Alan came over. We had a drink and a Smoke and a laff. I played some Need for Speed: Carbon. Chatted some on Mxit. Now I'm eating a Bar-one.

The Logo

2007-04-26T09:15:00.000+02:00

The Logo is sexy. prove me wrong.

Rainy Spleef

2007-04-26T08:31:00.001+02:00

Just toked me a marvellous rainy day Spleef. Fuck its hard to Mxit (SA only chat app for our phones) when I'm blogging like a mad pig. Just put the "Röyksopp - Melody A.M" music on. Its beats drive my mind into a wild smoothness. Most of these blogs have a fancy logo. Mine will be up soon. Must, just figure it out. But I will. Peasy when you are PC keen. Evidently in May it will be 5 months since I gave up smoking fucking cigs. I did not enjoy it as much as I did smoking weed you see? Far more enjoyable to get some sort of a, side effect... Something trippy like that. The logo..........?

AIDS. Lol :)

2007-04-25T18:57:00.001+02:00

My friend and Life-long Frisbee partner (that sounds gay). My fellow droog went for an AIDS test today. Well, he got his results about 20 mins ago. Clean as a newborn, his words. That bodes well. AIDS is a shitty disease and it takes weeks of showering and eating African potatoes to cure (citation needed). That, is a joke. If you get the AIDS you might as well ride the silver shotgun express and paint the walls with your disease. Always use condoms boys. And if you are bare backing a strange lady, just screw safely. Unless you have a cut on your willy, which mixes with her saliva and Jesus-H , then there is no escaping it.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R, shadow of Chernobyl is the latest game to be polished off by me. I would say that takes my running total to 1000 games finished plus/minus. More then 20 years I've been playing games. If you think 1000 is impossible to reach then you are a child of the 90's and not the 80's. Back in the 80's a game could be finished in 10 mins (or R5 rand in coins for the arcade machine) enabling you to level a playing field of machines at N1 City. Writing this blog is so cathartic. Like taking a meaty shit onto the fucking internet itself. In a couple of mins my mummy dearest is going to her Jewish Studies course and then I'm going to roll a smooth and skinny joint. Its white layer barely containing the THC pollen wrapped inside itself.

Fuck there she goes. J time.

Fuck it

2007-04-25T12:08:00.001+02:00

Being a passive-aggressive person is a real challenge. It ranks right up there with self-mutilation and castration in terms of simplicity and lifestyle choices. If you want to know what it is about... then try to imagine being constantly angry for no reason at all. Even when you are happy you are mad depro. When you are sad you constantly think about suicide but being passive-aggressive you are too scared to really go through with it. I feel psychotic almost. I have all the semblance of a normal life, a girlfriend, good friends, a R60 a week drug habit and a smashing PC for its age. But it's not enough. I lost my job 4 months ago thanks to a CUNT of a boss. He was an aggressive fucker from Durban. Bertie Schamrel. Bertie cock sucking, dick licking man-ass pounding Schamrel. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck you, you mad cunt. I had a very cushy job with him but it was pure fear and loathing in Cape Town it was. Compliant after complaint. Pure aggression which folded me into a paper crane of sympathy and passive allure. It was highly unpleasant. Alan is coming over now; we are going to watch SP (south park) and veg out.

2007-04-24T12:55:00.000+02:00

This is the pic that would not upload. I do all my posts from word. Jesus titty twisting christ I hate complications.

A Little info

2007-04-24T12:52:00.001+02:00

Name: Steve, a man of 27 with no regard for sanity.

Location: Plumstead, inside Cape Town.

Photo: I'm in the middle. These two are my friends.

Food: Anything crispy or cheesy. Or both.

Smoke: Only the ganj my droogs. Cigs murder you like disco.

Work: Retired (unemployed really)

Girlfriend: Yes

Other girlfriends: No

Status: Currently Drunk

Other info: I can be hired as a very good manwhore. Terms and conditions apply*

*no gays.

Lol

2007-04-24T12:45:00.001+02:00

Jesus, this is strong beer. Drinking 2 in the afternoon is fun.

One Note Song

2007-04-24T12:32:00.001+02:00

The cheese festival is on Saturday. There will not be weed though. Getting high on wine is not the same. But I'm going to try. I'm going to try. Later on is my mommy's birthday party at the Sugarloaf cafe. Having a smooth and quiet draft, as my friend Alan would say.

Test

2007-04-24T10:44:00.001+02:00

This is how you test a blog motherfuckers.